The Cow, The Boar and the Boy who Cried Whore.

Need I say more?

There once lived a boar,

who lived with a whore,

and they dance a verilly merry tune.

Mischief bluffed,
While Curiosity laughed,
At the sight of the prancing break dancing two.

They hopped and they popped (as in break dance),

and spoke all the more,

till the cow had mooed it's last moo...

When the old cow died,
Not a soul did mind,
Its carcass laid bare on the moon,

Now here is the catch,
A peculiar stash
Of flowers did grow on the moon.

The flowers were laced,
With a potent trace
Of unfamiliar shampoo (the kind you get from the supermarket).

The cow ate the flowers (naturally)
and jumped up and down,
and convulsed till its spots turned sour (or the colour green)

After an hour,
Came the boar with the whore
and the boy who fathered them all

"Poor Cow' He said..
"I'm sorry you're dead
It must have been those wretched flowers".

"Oh nevermind", he cried
'tis time to die...
We all will go sometime...

Flower or moon,
Boar or Whore,
It doesn't matter anymore....

Death comes anyway,
Eat what you like,
Dance away....
just don't forget to say what you need to say...

I'm not making sense (if I were, I'd be rich)
but there's always a chance,
To go break-dancing nonsensically..

With a cow, a board and the boy who cried whore.

Depth.

The thing about diving is, the deeper you go, the calmer it gets.














That's the beauty of Depth; it renders the undulating waves of life powerless and brings a peace that surpasses all reason and understanding. It enables you to watch the chaos raging on the surface and not be affected by it.

Commitment requires depth; it is not a fleeting notion, but a decision anchored in the future.

It's been two years since I was going through a Quarter-Life Crisis and reading it made me realize that I haven't moved on from that state of life. I have not made any serious life commitments, and here's why:

1. Indifference

Indecisiveness is a by-product of indifference. For the longest time, I've always strived to be detached, distant from everyone and everything. I've always chosen the path that was safest, with the least amount of risk. It meant that I wasn't really happy, and that I never did what I wanted to do, but rather found myself always meeting other people's expectations. For all intent and purposes, I was living someone else's life.

f**k this shit. I don't care.

Deciding to sit back indifferently and let life rock your boat isn't going to get you anywhere.


2. Fear of the unknown.

So... why do we fear commitment? I guess it's the fear of the unknown; what's going to happen when I make this choice? How do I know it's the right decision? What happens if I make a mistake?

The truth is, we'll never really know. There is certainty in the uncertain.

I've been fearful, always too afraid to take the plunge. It's time to let go off all that I hold onto and just dive deep. After all, if I don't dive in, I'll always be swept by the wind and storm.

I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

3. A Narrow View

I admit, I am selfish at times, thinking only for myself. I believe the world revolves around me, that I am the ocean. I make choices, or non-choices that are self-preserving and conducive only for myself.

The Truth is, I am a merely a drop of water.
And I need to remember that every drop of water forms the mighty ocean.

What I do, what I believe, affects others too. Everything I do, or don't do, has a consequence.

4. Set the sails 
Change is uncomfortable. Period.
But change is part of growth. If you don't make a decision, you've already decided to be indifferent.

***

Indifference has to die, else one would always be swept by the waves of life. I guess one would just have to dive deep, and be one with the ocean of God. There is certainty in commitment.

I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

Quarter-Life Crisis

Imagine, two doors in front of you. Supposing you could go through only one, and you didn't have time to decide.  How would you feel? How would you decide?

We all have to make life changing decisions at some point in our lives, be it in our education, career, vocation (state of life) or which shampoo to use (yes, healthy hair is important). When we face such major decision, we often go through this feeling of Crisis. Aptly, the word crisis stems from the Greek word krinien which means to "judge, separate or decide". Then the question begs, what are we judging, separating or deciding?

We judge for ourselves, what is good or apparent good.
We separate the good from the apparent good and weigh our options.
Then we decide on which is the good.

Dealing with Crisis can be rather unsettling and we often fear making the "wrong decision". When you're faced with a decision between two goods (both are good things, or supposedly good), how do you then decide? Would you just weigh out the pros and cons, using intellect? or draw upon your emotional instincts?

I like to assume that all roads lead to Rome, but if given the choice, I'd like to take the less bumpy road (avoiding thieves and hooligans along the way). But which path to take if you don't know where you're going? What of the cup of suffering from which we must all partake?

All these questions loom in our sub conscious, and we can choose to conscientiously ponder upon them or take life simplistically (innie-minnie-minie-moe).

I'm at the crossroads of my life.

I just graduated from University.
I don't know what I want (not really).
I don't know anything (maybe I do know something)
I know I want to work, but what for?
Do I work for the money, or the experience, or passion, or both, or ????
What is it I really want? I need to re-examine.
What should I do?
Where should I go?

These questions remain unanswered (at the moment)
I have no certainty, and that makes life interesting, exciting and scary all at the same time.

I need to hope.
I need to love.
I need to have faith.

I am in Crisis.
God help us all.

When the lie becomes you..

Go... just go.. leave me be...

twas the words spoken to me..

In the event of an unfruitful discussion,

I find myself dangling in mid air,

losing grip on what was once glimpses of truth..

and in the midst of all that..

I sit benevolently enthralled in the disgust of light years,

packed in an insignificant piece of nothing.

lies.. it's all lies..

a circus show for the world to see..

a mistress you keep..

do you love her or yourself?

if you do, then why do you hide behind a false front,

deceit of sorts, a masquerade of emotions..

if you do not rise to the occasion,

then the occasion will rise to you..

and if you prolong this pretence,

then you are just living a lie..

and the lie becomes you...

recriminating weakness.

OOzing distress from purity's fissure.

no longer lingers does peace in one's heart.

death, death, death.

I die a spiritual death.

The Furnace 2.

Once again the Furnace is made;
but Death no longer abides.
She died giving birth to Her son, Jealousy.

Now Jealousy is a tricky one,
for none knows His thoughts and desires,
other than the Transcendent one,
From whom all beings come..

Jealousy deigned to rekindle the lost flames of the Furnace,
but for that He needed a sacrifice,
So He looked high and low,
Crossed mountains and valleys,
till He came to a bridge.

On that bridge,
He found Lust ravishing Love,
and Jealousy, with his mother's blade,
Stabbed Lust in the Heart,
and sought to use His body as a sacrifice.

and Love cried out,
"Oh Jealousies of Jealousies,
Thou knowest not what Thou has done,
For Thou has slain my betrothed,
Lies here my beloved,
Breathless and non-existent".

and ceasing from the belt of Lust,
Confusion's dagger,
Love kills herself.

She dies..
And Jealousy, bringing their bodies back to the Furnace,
Cremated them together,
and in the dance of the flames,
Truth is born..

and Truth says Jealousy..
"You time is now, be non-existent!".

And so they battle and Truth defeats Jealousy,
for Death's dagger is powerless against the shield of Truth..

Jealousy retreats,
Perhaps to return another day with his cousin, Vengeance and Rage,
to reclaim the Furnace.

Truth now guards the furnace,
Never to allow it to be used for evil.
He invites his friends, Patience and Perseverance,
to aid Him in the long hours of the night..

and Thus the furnace remains...
as it is, as it was always meant to be...

The Furnace..

Richard's raptured remains sleeps silently in the furnace of solitude..
Not knowing why, Death, lying beside Him, seduces Him with Her tempestuous figure,
pleading Him to surrender Himself to Her..

Embracing Death, seemed the only escape from the wretched furnace,
the source of His of misery and anguish.

Bearing no longer, the ferocious fires,
He gives himself to Death.

She snickers a sinister smile,
and in all Her rage and violence,
turbulently tears apart his soul,
Ripping every fabric into shreds of inconsolable pieces,
As would a wolf would ravish it's prey..

His particles quench the fire.
and Death is laid to rest..
The funace dies out..

Richard is no more..
only ashes remain..
and from these ashes,
the furnace is made..