Depth.

The thing about diving is, the deeper you go, the calmer it gets.














That's the beauty of Depth; it renders the undulating waves of life powerless and brings a peace that surpasses all reason and understanding. It enables you to watch the chaos raging on the surface and not be affected by it.

Commitment requires depth; it is not a fleeting notion, but a decision anchored in the future.

It's been two years since I was going through a Quarter-Life Crisis and reading it made me realize that I haven't moved on from that state of life. I have not made any serious life commitments, and here's why:

1. Indifference

Indecisiveness is a by-product of indifference. For the longest time, I've always strived to be detached, distant from everyone and everything. I've always chosen the path that was safest, with the least amount of risk. It meant that I wasn't really happy, and that I never did what I wanted to do, but rather found myself always meeting other people's expectations. For all intent and purposes, I was living someone else's life.

f**k this shit. I don't care.

Deciding to sit back indifferently and let life rock your boat isn't going to get you anywhere.


2. Fear of the unknown.

So... why do we fear commitment? I guess it's the fear of the unknown; what's going to happen when I make this choice? How do I know it's the right decision? What happens if I make a mistake?

The truth is, we'll never really know. There is certainty in the uncertain.

I've been fearful, always too afraid to take the plunge. It's time to let go off all that I hold onto and just dive deep. After all, if I don't dive in, I'll always be swept by the wind and storm.

I mean, what's the worst that could happen?

3. A Narrow View

I admit, I am selfish at times, thinking only for myself. I believe the world revolves around me, that I am the ocean. I make choices, or non-choices that are self-preserving and conducive only for myself.

The Truth is, I am a merely a drop of water.
And I need to remember that every drop of water forms the mighty ocean.

What I do, what I believe, affects others too. Everything I do, or don't do, has a consequence.

4. Set the sails 
Change is uncomfortable. Period.
But change is part of growth. If you don't make a decision, you've already decided to be indifferent.

***

Indifference has to die, else one would always be swept by the waves of life. I guess one would just have to dive deep, and be one with the ocean of God. There is certainty in commitment.

I mean, what's the worst that could happen?